Robin Thicke wrote a whole album named Paula. Not this Paula - another Paula. A Paula that is not this Paula. Because this Paula doesn’t require other people to write sonnets and ill-fated love ballads to her; she writes her own things. And not in a creepy, self-aggrandizing way. I sit down with Paula - again, not that Paula. That’s the other Paula. This is Paula Paula. Anyway, I sit down with her to ask a few non-Thicke questions.
1. Describe your ultimate morning routine.
A good morning, I'm awake by 5:30 AM. I’m writing; working on a story for my book or dreaming to my journal, whatever to get my mind and imagination moving. Then 30 mins at the gym or a dance party in my living room followed by a 5 step mini facial. A not so good morning is 40 minutes on the toilet scrolling Facebook or watching YouTube videos. Either way, I try to spend time simulating my mind so my day won’t be spent doing more for others than myself. It's a work in progress.
2. If storytelling was the only artform left to save the world, what would you share?
I can tell you now that the pressure to save the world is too much for my soul… and ego. A more honest approach for me would be to teach the world a lesson so it can hopefully learn enough to save itself. That’s what my writing generally seeks to do. Not tell you something but show you something in hopes that you uncover the lessons for yourself.
The story I’d share would be a metaphorical tale called Return To Sender. It’s about a person who keeps having unwanted packages delivered to their home but instead of sending them back, they decide to let the stuff in. Don’t most of us suffer from that, letting the wrong stuff in?
3. How do you manage sorrow? How do you manage joy?
I am … honored… yeah, that’s the word I wanna use. I’m honored to have experienced both deep, earth-shattering sorrow and unspeakably beautiful joy. Honored because not everyone can survive these tragedies and get the opportunity to teach others how to heal too. When my son died, the early years were as rough as one can imagine, complete with bad decisions I’m still recovering from. However, I manage sorrow by being brutally honest with myself and others. And it’s the same with joy. I am constantly asking myself “What am I supposed to get from this?” Be it I’m curled up in a corner sobbing or twerking all over my house in bliss, I want to know what significance the moment has and what I can learn from it. Once I’ve answered that question honestly, I can appreciate and give value to its impact on my life and who I am. I.E.: I can cry my eyes out knowing that I resent the way my life looks while picking myself up to be thankful that I still have one.
4. How does the theme song of your hit TV show begin?
A huge orchestra playing at full capacity - a neo-soul/ trap/ RnB fusion that decrescendos into Ron Cephas Jones playing the saxophone slow and steady- all orchestrated by Pharrell. No harp though. I hate the harp. The music needs to interrupt your raisons d'être. (I just learned this phrase. It means the most important reason or purpose for someone or something's existence.)
5. Tell me about the sweetest moment of your life.
There are a few and I’m sure the sweetest hasn’t happened yet. My cousin Connie and I were in bible study and everyone was doing team-building activities. The task was to tell someone something you really like about them. My cousin, more like my sis, said she liked my smile. I don’t remember if I used to cover my mouth or I just didn’t smile often, but I remember how it made me feel. My soul has been grinning ever since. A sincere compliment can change someone’s life.
6. If courage had a smell, what would it be?
Currently, the smell of a Black girl’s hair. Be it Blue Magic and a hot comb or castor oil and ACV, black women embracing hair in a world that wasn’t ready to see us blossom is so damn courageous. I’ve gotten stereotyped, groped, and even fired over my hair. I’ve watched the women in my family struggle to embrace their changing tresses through motherhood, after mobility limiting disability, after chemo, even after mental breaks, reaching into their hair trying to understand new glory with an ever-changing crown. It’s biblical.
7. What do you have in the works that the world should know about?
The book of short stories I’m working on is a feat like no other. I’m having to challenge my biases, explore my sanity, and even embrace some haunting parts of my nature. I’m giving myself permission to take time and establish my roots as a storyteller, not just a poet and it’s fucking hard!
I also have a workbook coming soon called “So Shall You Slay!” It’s the first of its kind for me but a passion project I would be remiss not to release.
In the meantime, I’m still speaking my mind and talking shit on Lack Of Better Words.com, which will be available in audio format soon.
PAULA MICHELLE GILLISON is a poet and storyteller with a passion for grief recovery and personal exploration through written and visual art. Her work has been published and produced for the stage by The Billie Holiday Theater & You Had Me At Black Storytellers, including features with Slam Richmond, The Writer’s Den, and Tuesday Verses. She is the author of poetry chapbooks “Under” and “Parables & The Gold Plated Things.” and is currently working on a few passion projects where her goal is to help people connect to their truth by discovering it for themselves.
Website: www.lackofbetter.com
IG: PGArtistry