On the morning of January 6, I drove through D.C. running errands. I witnessed the line of insurrectionists headed towards the Capitol from Union Station. After running my errands and returning home, I find my daughter standing in our living room, eyes dotting back and forth between her phone and the TV. I know my kid. She has a lot to say but the words aren’t coming yet. So she’s reacting in body language. Laughing. Yelling. Groaning. “How do you feel?”, I ask. “I don’t know yet”, she responds. So we sit down and watch things unfold together.
My daughter has been at her fair share of rallies with me. Since four years old, after the murder of Trayvon Martin, she has been tuned in in her own way. Art projects emblazoned with “Black Lives Matter”. Listening in as I track the latest news on NPR and MSNBC. We’ve created a norm where she can ask and emote however she needs to without shame. Over the summer during the uprisings in D.C., TikTok was her saving grace. Not wanting to go outside during a pandemic, she stayed up-to-date through kids her age sharing the information they had with no sterilization, no heavy niceties, just the raw words of Generation Z coming to terms with the world they’re witnessing.
Too many times, we parents try to shield the tough things from our children out of fear of psychological and/or emotional harm. We deem sights and sounds too much for young bodies to endure, so much so that we paint the world a rosy sheen and hope it sticks. It does us, but mostly them, a huge disservice. It creates gaps in understanding and in turn silences much-needed conversations. I grew up facing a whole new world on the regular. I was in 9th grade when the 9/11 attacks occurred. Sitting in freshman orientation, the voice of our assistant principal broke over the scratchy intercom to tell us something happened in New York. A plane crash. “Go to your next class.” My next period was Earth Science, and my teacher held no punches. On this particular day, she ushered us into class, sat us down and gave us a choice. She said she had our day planned out, but due to the events occurring around us, we could either sit with her and find out what’s happening or go to the office to call our parents if needed. Most of us stayed, and she did her best to explain what she knew so far. We sat around her small classroom TV as the screen grew gray with soot. None of us knew what was happening or how to make sense of it, but I’m still grateful as an adult to the adult in the room that chose to inform rather than shield.
Gen Z learned from our Millennial generation how important it is to stay informed, to rest when needed and to not allow dis/misinformation to go unchecked. They know so much more than we give them credit for, and we would do well to check in with them to learn some things. Yes, it’s scary to navigate confusing times with a kid(s) by your side. There’s no shame in admitting what you may be scared as well. So during those moments, listen. Spark a dialogue. Comfort. Allow yourself to be the student at times. “I don’t know” is a valid sentence in these moments.
The world is scary and confusing. And the kids are alright and tuned in. Both can be true at once.