Shadow work isn’t for the faint. It’s been said to be the active discovery of the ugly sides of ourselves and “dealing” with them. But what does the “dealing” look like? Is it all pain? All shame? Or is it a time to get to know the us that’s been there waiting, underneath the covers? I sat down with two of my blitchiest sistren: Courtney “Zegasus” Derrell and Mambo Ruth to take a deeper dive into the meanings of shadow work and how to best do your own excavating.
1. For the uninitiated, what is shadow work and why is it necessary?
CZD: Shadow Work to me is the necessary and intentional time and practice of evaluating and understanding all the aspects, characteristics and attributes that make you ,you. But, especially, the characteristics that typically have a negative connotation. Shadow Work is delving into those perceived notions and ideologies and tearing apart what was taught and indoctrinated. An example of this is the gift of manipulation. Most think of manipulation as a negative attribute, but like with most gifts, if you utilize them for good, they serve you and others well. A supervisor with the understanding and gift of manipulation could understand the motivations of their direct employees and create buy-in for increased productivity and enhanced team morale. Another example of Shadow Work as mentioned is the unlearning of doctrine, dogma, and discussed belief: like the Black Church presenting everything outside of the physical four walls of the church as satanic and witchcraft. If you never looked up the definition of “divination” or “occult”, you would go your entire life not knowing that it is the practice of seeking knowledge of the future or the unknown by supernatural means or that occult simply means supernatural, mystical or magical beliefs, practices or phenomena. Shadow Work is venturing within yourself to illuminate those “dark” places repressed and suppressed. It is an opportunity for us to get to know ourselves in a much deeper and holistic way. Shadow Work is an introduction or reintroduction to Oneness.
MR: I agree that ‘Shadow Work” is the latest buzzword that many do not understand. For me, it is to deeply examine oneself. You explore you at your best, at your worst, what drives you and what triggers you. This is essential before you consider any initiated path. It helps you to define your boundaries, what you believe in and what your non-negotiables are. All too often, people join houses or covens and they still don’t know themselves. They have not done the “shadow work” to get past pain, resentment and truly spiritually evolve. Shadow work is spiritual evolution.
2. In your opinion, why do you think shadow work is so misunderstood?
CZD: Like most aspects of life and society, Shadow Work is misunderstood because we have not taken the time to do the research and commit to our own growth. We do not need to think alike, we just need to think. And that thinking involves doing the research, doing the work, and having our own understanding of what we are being called to do when shadow working.
MR: Shadow work is misunderstood because of our culture of instant gratification. We want everything NOW. Modern humans often lack the patience and the skillset to truly do Shadow Work. Many of them have seen alternative spiritualities demonized. Sometimes they think that Shadow Work is working with evil entities for personal gain. That is not what this is for. But that is not how it is portrayed in modern society and, as a result, people miss out on the real meaning, and value, of Shadow Work.
3. How would you describe that “dark night of the soul?”
CZD: Before this moment, I had not heard the reference “Dark Night of the Soul” and had to do some further research. It seems that it references that point in everyone’s life when they are faced with unfathomable pain, suffering and despair. It is when you reach a space where you must determine if you choose to live, exist, die or thrive. When writing this, I mean that similar to ecclesiastics, there are seasons in life, and some taught and caught lessons will bring you to a point in your life when your soul and heart are in turmoil. That tempestuous nature and space irradiates your insecurities, disappointments, hurts and pains – which again, even in that moment provides opportunity for you to explore that pain and pull from its depth - purpose. For me, the “Dark Night of the Soul” can serve as a catalyst for transformation, if you allow it.
MR: I’ve actually never heard that term. Maybe it is because I am more of a Hoodoo/Vodou traditionalist, I am too busy playing catch up learning the traditions of my African Ancestors. A brief search of this term leads me to the Wikipedia entry that states:
Dark Night of the Soul (Spanish: La noche oscura del alma) is a poem written by the 16th-century Spanish mystic and poet St. John of the Cross. The author himself did not give any title to his poem, on which he wrote two book-length commentaries: Ascent of Mount Carmel (Subida del Monte Carmelo) and The Dark Night (Noche Oscura)…The term "dark night (of the soul)" in Roman Catholic spirituality describes a spiritual crisis in the journey toward union with God, like that described by St. John of the Cross. Link
And that is what, eventually, any type of Shadow Work should lead you to. It doesn’t have to be a journey to the Christian God. It is a journey to your Higher Self, your Oversoul (Holy Spirit), and your connection to the people who created you, and an Almighty Creator. Contrary to popular belief, all African Traditional Religions believe in a Divine Creator.
4. Tell us about a time shadow work revealed something beautiful in your life.
CZD: Shadow Work helped save my mind. It provided clarity and confirmation surrounding gifts and purpose that I could not readily rationalize so instead I suppressed and hid away. The intentional act of hiding from my gifts within put me at dis-ease, allowing my betrayal of self to manifest somatically. That betrayal was almost my undoing until I started intentionally doing shadow work and exploring the unknown and forsaken parts of me. Shadow work was my spur for self-discovery and evolution – I found my Oneness. Shadow work introduced me to myself.
MR: Shadow Work taught me what I was worth. That I mattered and am powerful in my own right. It enabled me to remove myself from a spiritually-abusive spiritual godparent, removed people and things in my life that were not serving me and opened roads for me that I was hesitant to go down before. It let me know who I was, what my moral compass is and what my Spirits have in store for me in order for me to live my best life and spiritually evolve in this lifetime. All of this is so I can eventually ascend and become a better Ancestor and, hopefully one day, become a Goddess in my own right.
5. What you once believed or understood has now crumbled. What is it and describe the view.
CZD: I kind of alluded to it earlier which was that I grew up in a conservative Christian household and was raised in the stereotypical “Black Church”, which taught us to hate parts of ourselves because the speakers/teachers and even some preachers were not informed enough to take the time to delve into and divide truth. I thought that some of the spiritual gifts that God blessed me with were demonic and evil, not being taught that there were seers (oracles) in the Bible that Men of God sought out for better understanding and direction. That being able to see someone’s ancestral chemistry and legacy was not a curse, or that I was not crazy, because it was spoken that we would perform even greater gifts than Jesus when he returned to heaven and imparted the Holy Spirit. My pedestal in which I placed the “Black Church” has crumbled because its foundation, at least from my experience, was built on fear, ignorance and control. I now have a different understanding and rediscovered relationship with God and our Ancestors, angels and spirit guides. I understand a more complete view rather than pieces taught previously.
MR: Everything I thought I believed in as a Christian was brought under question, and eventually uprooted and revised. Through my own research, spiritual experiences and growth, I was able to see that the Christian religion was greatly misconstrued, and all of it was taken and adapted from Pagan religions. This journey of discovery came with heartbreak, regret, enlightenment and extreme joy. Magic is, above all things, about balance. While it shattered my concepts, it did not take away my faith. I just learned to apply it to principles that are older than any Abrahamic religion.
6. How do you wish you were/are supported during your work and how can that experience support others?
CZD: I wish that when I first went into my journey of shadow work that someone earnestly supported me and let me know that things and I would be okay. I literally thought I’d lose my soul in the process, but thank God we are multidimensional beings that comprise multiple facets. I’d like to see more shadow work sessions or healing circles so that people can have the needed social and spiritual support as they travel within. Similar to a buddy system. Understanding that shadow work is very much an act in solitude, it does not have to be done alone. Like a doula, we assist and support others in their births and rebirths.
MR: I was supported in my work. My Ancestors and Spirits never left me alone. I regret my interactions and involvement with fraudulent people in some situations, but even those painful relationships taught me lessons and growth. I also had amazing mentors and spiritual siblings who kept me enlightened and objective. I wish that the frauds and abusers meet whatever consequences Spirit has for them. You should study, have spiritual mentors/siblings, and most importantly do the work your practice requires. I wish that those seeking enlightenment will never encounter people like them. This is why I teach. I want people to learn how to practice for themselves. Then it is less likely you can be taken by a fraud. And if they are taken advantage of by one of these people, they should not turn their backs on their personal relationships with Spirit. They should learn the lesson and not repeat the behavior. Don’t be the same fool twice. It is a mistake the first time you do it. When you make the same “mistakes” over and over again, they are intentions.
7. What do you have in the works that the world should know about?
CZD: I am very excited about the next season in my life and that of my small, minority and women-owned business, Magic of Sacred Arts (MoSa) LLC. MoSa is about to release an updated website and is rolling out new sacred support and services. The YouTube channel: Courtney “Zegasus” Derrell has more content coming as well as more content coming to the Instagram page @magicofsacredarts. MoSa is also working on a two-day retreat providing creative space for transformative healing and growth and creating community through the LIGHT Enclave. My contact email is: magicofsacredarts@gmail.com. Stay tuned!
MR: I own Big Liz Conjure and I own a brick-and-mortar storefront, Erzulie’s Conjure Garden, in Reynoldsburg, Ohio (a suburb of Columbus). I’ve been practicing professionally as a diviner and a purveyor of fine Magical goods since 2012. I have several instructors who teach via my website, and we offer a vast array of courses in the Occult Sciences. I also perform divinations (psychic readings), candle divinations, and lamp services for clients. All of our courses and divinations are conducted via Zoom, the online store is open 24 hours a day, and you can shop with us in person Wednesdays through Saturdays. Our hours are on the website and Google.